Self-Control

I've been beyond busy.  I actually was up at 3:58 this morning cleaning my kitchen trying to get on top of all the things that have been sliding with our insane Spring schedule.  Most nights we are not home before 8pm, we are completely away from home 3 days of the week, and most of the weekend.  And of course Chris is gone this week as now Calli starts archery and Tin & Spencer start soccer.  But I will take the time to write because I had time to think while gardening yesterday and I am outraged.

Recently it was stated by an acquaintance that it is a girl's responsibility to dress appropriately and modestly so as not to incite impure thoughts and actions in the males in our society.  Men and boys are weak and cannot be held accountable for what they think and do when females dress in tank tops, shorter than the knee shorts, or expose a bare midriff.

This was said to a group of children and adults.  Children as young as infants.  As a parent of boys and girls I could not disagree more.  This kind of statement excuses rape and blames the victim. I expect my boys, and girls, to exhibit self-control in their actions and words.  I expect that we be cautious and practice common sense, but in no way does the way that someone dresses excuse someone else from making lewd comments or inappropriate actions.  It is never someone's fault that they are raped or molested.  This is insulting to men and women alike.  Men are more than their hormones,  women are more than sex objects. 

This is the same thinking one would find in the Taliban, but we can find it here in America too.  Ridiculous. And so I respond,  How dare you!? It is not your job to tell me how to dress my children, or worse try to dress them yourself. It is not for you to dictate to me what God wants.  (Last I checked God created our bodies and God does not make mistakes, yes?) It is not for you to tell me how I am failing my children.  It is your job to teach your children self-control.  It is your job to look into yourself and ask why do you see something sexual about a 5 year old. Would you blame a 5 year because she was molested? You tell me there are predators in our community and I respect that and protect my children by building their self-confidence and making them strong beings.  But you are who scares me. Thinking you know what is best for everyone else, who knows God's wishes, who sees something provocative in a child, who thinks boys cannot practice self-control.  You who are raising your children to believe this. This scares me much more than a child's bare shoulder or belly button. Stop blaming others and clean your own house - or in other words - take the log out of your eye before you worry about the speck in mine.