The Day that Colin Lived.

January 12, 1996 is the day that Colin lived.  12 Days before Kelsy was born.  2 months before Colin turned 2.  On that day I was hugely pregnant.  Chris had finished school for the day and was at his night job.  I had finished work and picked up Colin from his grandmother's. Colin & I  went to our small apartment in Cottage Grove MN.  We had recently moved out of my mom's house and it was nice to be more independent again.   I started making supper for us. Spaghetti. Colin started roaming through the house, and as was his favorite activity at the time he was trying to put things in the electrical outlets.  The covers did no good, he just pulled them out.  So I decided to redirect him.

He stood on a stool handing me spaghetti noodles to put in the pot.  My normal way of doing things was always cooking on the back burners, but at this point I was so huge I was using the front burner. Then the cat came running through our kitchen followed by the dog, who knocked Colin off his stool.  He reached out to stop from falling.   While reaching out he pulled the pot of scalding water down on himself. I immediately grabbed him and put him in the shower under cold water.  Then I took off his wet clothes wrapped him in a blanket and drove him to the hospital.  I should have called 911, but then again I probably would have gone insane waiting.  We arrived at the hospital.   At some point I let my mom know who called my aunt who went to Chris's work to tell him.  They started treatment of Colin immediately and prepped him for ambulance transport to another hospital, called Ramsey at the time, now Regions.  We were fortunate enough to have one of the best burn units in the region right under our nose.

When we arrived they began further treatment of Colin. Then Chris arrived,and for the first time I cried.  I cried because my stupidity caused pain to my perfect little child.  I should have cooked on the back burner. He should have been on a sturdier stool.  We should have had sandwiches. Why did he have to suffer for my mistake?  Even now I wish I could take that pain from him. Still my heart breaks.   I cry thinking about it.  I had utterly failed Colin and Chris.  Colin had 3rd degree burns on 20% of his little body. The right side of his face and right side of his back, a little bit of his chest and his right arm.

He was in the burn unit for 1 week.  He regressed on speech and using the toilet.  He also gained 7 pounds and threw-up on me everyday.  I still gag at the smell of pediasure.  It was extremely critical that they kept his nutrition up.  Without skin a person has lost their primary form of disease prevention.  Some of the nurses became annoyed with us.  We would not leave Colin's side.  And to make it worse both Chris & I spent the night.  One night Colin started running a fever, a nurse came in to take blood.  The 3rd time she poked Colin with the needle because she could not find a vein Chris told her she had one more chance and then she needed to call a pediatric nurse.  She was angry and started telling us why she needed the blood.  We knew why and agreed blood needed to be taken, but clearly it needed to be someone who could find the little veins of a not yet 2 year old.  I was so proud of Chris. The fever was gone that morning.

Some nurses were thrilled we spent so much time there.  Some for obvious reasons, we changed his diaper (had to weigh and record it), we put in new movies for him, we helped him not be so bored.  We parented our son.  Some were happy because they didn't see enough parental involvement with other children, it depressed the nurses and the children.  It especially made them happy that Chris was involved.  One nurse made a point of telling Chris to ignore the other nurses.  He said the best thing we can do for our child is to be there.  That nurse was right.

Colin was the least injured person there.  And he was nearly 2. So he had a little more energy than the others.  We would take him for walks around the ward with his nose tube and IV tube in tow.  We'd race his cars down the ramp, he'd point out trash and dust that was being left behind that Chris & I had to pick up.  When we'd go by other patient's rooms some of them would invite us in. It made them happy to see a friendly little guy, and made their injuries seem a little less bad.  If this little person could get through this, so could they.  One of the patients was another little boy that had just turned 2 and was burned from the waist down  on Christmas because the bathwater was too hot.  Colin was able to get that little boy to talk and play again.  Colin made a difference not only the week he was there but the numerous weeks he had to come back for his daily bath.  The people who wanted to talk to him, the parents that wanted to commiserate with us.  And eventually the little baby Kelsy that would accompany us.  A baby brightens everybody's day because a baby reminds us of new life and hope.

If one is to get burned it is best if you are a 2 year old boy.  For whatever reason males heal better from burns.  And young people are in an active growth phase and also heal quickly from burns. He was also fortunate the water was water not soup or oil, much cleaner. and we were close to the shower to stop the heat.  Colin's rate of healing absolutely astounded the Drs.  At first it was a no-brainer that he should have skin grafting.  By the end of the week it wasn't so clear cut.  His rate of healing surpassed everyone's most optimistic expectations.  By the end of the week the burns on his face were more like a bad sunburn.  His chest and back were healing beautifully.  The biggest concern was his arm, and at this point the Drs could not guess how completely he would or would not heal.

In the end we decided against the grafting.  A week at the hospital with Colin, followed by Kelsy coming a few days later, we could not stomach another week in the hospital and inflicting more pain on Colin for the grafting without a clear idea that this was going to be beneficial.  I think it was the right choice.  Colin has one spot around his arm where there is very clear scarring.  The Drs believe the scarring is at that specific point and not so much elsewhere because he was put under the cold water so quickly and his shirt bunched there holding in the heat.  If you look closely you'll see the pores on his back and chest are larger.  Unless he's shirtless you would never know he was burned.

I've asked Colin if he remembers.  He says not really, getting knocked off the stool and then mostly just the baths at the hospital.  The nurses chasing him.  I'm glad he doesn't remember.  I remember enough for the both of us.  And everyday, even when he drives me nuts, I am thankful for him.  I realize even when I was a child the medicine didn't exist to keep him alive.  And I'll take my young man driving me nuts anyday rather than the alternative.  
I love you Colin!