It's been a while.  Not for lack of writing fodder, simply a lack of uninterrupted quiet time.  Fortunately a bit of insomnia is helping me out tonight.  Its probably my body has now been trained to only get 3 hours of sleep a night, so since I've already slept that much - time to get up.

What to write about?  Our van breaking down in Madison  & then our truck breaking down the very next day in Mt Horeb and our fantastic friends who rescued us. Truck has been sold & replaced.  That was fun. Van has been fixed at a 1/3 of dealers quote.

Our great misadventures in haying where every piece of equipment we own including the trailer HAD to break down.  I'll sum that up by sharing a snippet of a conversation I had with one of the implement dealers, he asks "Do you need a job", I answer "I have plenty of jobs, I need money."   We learned a lot about our equipment and have a very clean fuel tank in the tractor now.  I do know rebuilding a carburetor is on my winter to do list. The haying itself wasn't so bad, the time & money associated with equipment failure was maddening.

Kit had her first birthday and has taken her first steps.  I believe you can tell a lot about a child's personality by how they learn to walk.  Colin would not walk until he could do it perfectly.  Kelsy at 9 months, our earliest walker, would take a step & fall, take 2 more steps, fall, take another step, fall.  She was done crawling, and not that great of a walker but she was determined to be walking so that is what she did.  Kierstyn walks when she wants as far as she wants.  She will not walk to please you, nor will she walk if it is more convenient to crawl.  I definitely see the stubborn streak that I see exhibited in my other brown-eyed daughter.

The great time we had the 4th of July reunion spending time with familiar faces and meeting new ones. 2 litters of kittens born and how very cute they are. The day spent at the waterpark. The wonderful weekend we spent camping with our family, away from work & home. Kiki's broken arm. Colin finally finding the motivation to get his learner's permit. The good, the bad & the ugly of the county fair.  Chris's trip to urgent care when his asthma wasn't responding to his inhalers. Spencer's 8th birthday and how Jelly Belly rocked, the Kenosha Public Museum rocked, the lake rocked, White Castle rocked, but the rest of the day sucked!  Spoken by Spencer as he was sobbing when things weren't quite the way he wanted them to be. 6 month anniversary of Dad's death.  

Zucchini recipes perhaps?  Since we are eating it at least 2x a day.  Tomorrow perhaps.  Followed by the 2 pvc chicken tractors I've made this past week in anticipation for the chicks that are arriving today or tomorrow. A little excited about them and the hope that chickens won't be feeding the area wildlife.

I am going to write about a friend.On July 3rd Micheal Fagan left this world much too soon for his family & friends.  Micheal was.... Micheal... and sometimes Mike.  A character for sure. The first time we met him.  Chris had just gotten a job in Medford MA, near Boston.  We were moving from North Adams and looking for an apartment in Clinton, the best little down by a dam site. Clinton is South of Leominster (lemon-ster) and North of Worcester (woosta).  We were told the townhouse was on Clock street.  We follow the directions we were given and we come to this road with no road sign, but it should be Clock.  We this man on the front step and ask him if he knows where "Clock Street" is.  No he doesn't.  So we ask what street is this without the sign, he tells us its "Clock Street".   This story loses much of its humor without sound.  Micheal had a very thick Boston/Worcester accent.  And he wasn't saying "clock" he was saying Clark, which is what the landlord was saying too. 

He ended up being our nextdoor neighbor for a year.  We couldn't have asked for better neighbors. There was Mike and Vicki and their 3 teen-aged kids.  We were 6 of us then, Spencer was just 3 months when we moved in. Of course it took us a while to become friends.  And with a psycho neighbor on the other side it helped with the bonding.  Calli just adored their oldest, James.  She still has his bandanna he gave her when we moved.  Chris & I would go over there most nights, or they would come to our place.  We'd usually play cards, drink iced coffee.  We shared an enclosed porch, so it was so easy if the kids wanted to go over or stay home.  Mike adored Spencer.  He'd take the baby and they would go dead head the flowers.  I think Spencer's continued love for flowers came directly from that.  Spencer called Mike "Allah", and of course Micheal had no complaints about that.  It was about time someone had figured it out. 

He was crazy. Couldn't sit still.  Didn't even sleep much.  He drove cab just for the fun of it. He had another full time job.  He loved his family.  Loved going to Long Sands.  They were gracious enough to include us in on a trip.  That was wonderful.  Even when the dog ate Mike's teeth.  He got over that pretty quick.  When we moved they not only helped us load the truck, they stored some of our stuff and drove it out to us.  I'm glad they did because it meant we got to see them again. And of course because Mike could never be anywhere without working he painted our dining room walls They were GORGEOUS! 

Mike was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago.  As friendships & life sometimes go I hadn't spoken to Vicki for awhile. I always have something going on.  They bought a house, have a granddaughter busy with kids and life. When we spoke after not talking for awhile she told me.  At that point he had already lived longer than the dr's predicted.  As a matter of fact he was doing really well and still driving cab.  But the last few month's were hard on him, hard on all of the Fagan family. My heart goes out to them. When Vicki told me he died, via chat, I was glad it wasn't by phone as I cried.   I'm tired of people dying.

I'm glad for the time we had in Clinton.  I hold dear the memories we have and the difference the Fagans made in our life.  Without question a part of Mike lives on in Spencer, in all of us.  RIP Allah. I hope heaven is up for some improvement.  I know you and Dad enjoyed chatting the few times he came to visit, so enjoy a smoke & say hi. Love to you Vicki, James, Amanda & Emily.  Mean it.

Haying

We have started on this new adventure of "haying".  We've been growing our own hay for awhile.  And we've been doing the brutal work of helping bale and putting literally a 1000 + bales of hay in the barn each summer.  Now we have to do it all which means more time and {gulp} more knowledge! UGH!  Hopefully this will be a good decision.  It certainly is a challenging one - and challenges keep us young, right?  We really didn't have many choices. 

Last year we had someone cut on shares.  That meant he cut half of what he baled.  And he only was able  to get 2 cuttings in- a summer when everyone we knew got 3 or 4 cuttings.  Needless to say we were hurting for hay and even had to buy some this winter.  And it was awful horrible hay.  Our animals would rather eat our straw than the hay.  So its costing us twice - the cost of hay and the cost from reduced weight and production in our animals.  We need to make this jump.  We did cut it ok.  Huge learning curve on using the sickle mower properly, but in the end it went pretty well.  Then the raking.  Again, first half the field doesn't look so pretty , but the second half looks mighty good.  But then it rained, and rained, and rained.  So now we need to wait. And let it dry, and dry some more. The hay will still be usable, just not as good.  Certainly no worse than what we've been buying.  Wish we had a tedder.  We could get one for another $1000.  But then I'd have to give up my spa treatments.  Oh well.

Wonderful Birthday!

I had a wonderful day yesterday.  Chris took the day off of work to spend it with me.  Colin milked the goats. My mom & Chris got Calli to band and the boys to art (yes something I normally do by myself :). I did my health risk assessment through Chris' work. And thank goodness as I had to fast and nursing moms should not be fasting until 11:30am! The blood taker could not have been more flattering.  Good way to get the day going.  Spent a wonderful afternoon with friends, and they even cared enough to bake and buy me a cake - yes 2 cakes! We went to Madison to pick up my cheeses cultures, but they had accidentally shipped them.  They apologized profusely and gave us our shipping money back immediately without us asking for it.  They brought the man out who made the mistake and he apologized.  Wonderful customer service.  The cultures should still be here today and I can't wait!  We returned Colin's computer and textbooks.  We went to Barnes & Noble and got an Indian & Thai cookbook  Kids bought some stuff too - addicts!  Went to Calli's soccer game.  Best I've seen Calli play so far.  That was a real joy.  Got into a discussion with a parent on our team about what offsides was.  It was funny because he was wrong, another parent on the other side was wrong too. Ref was right, I was right (it does happen).  Poor kids are getting yelled at, ref is getting yelled.  This is why Colin quit reffing.  These refs go through hours and hours of class they get re-certified every year. Who do you suppose knows more about offsides? A parent who has never played or opened a rule book  or the ref? If you ask the parent, its the parent - not the punk 14 year old kid.  Anyway I tried to explain off sides to this parent so he'd understand the game and quit yelling at his kid and the ref - I just thought it was a matter of him not understanding how it worked.  But no, he's just an ass.  Instead of considering the possibility that the kids were doing it right, and the ref was calling it right, and I understood what was going on - no, we were all wrong and he was right. Oh yeah- that's why I quit coaching too.  Anyway Calli's team lost even though Calli was awesome.  Then we went to dinner.  An old Indian restaurant that was remodeled, renamed and a new menu.  Mango lassis were gratis.  Service was SLOW but friendly.  Most of the food was fantastic.   Chana Paneer and Lamb Khana Mateer were exceptional.  The most expensive item - the Bombay Platter was very disappointing.  When they asked Chris was honest and said "not good".  At first the owner started defending the dish.  Chris pointed out that we liked and even loved the other dishes, this one just wasn't good.  He then acknowledged the possibility, apologized and brought us 3 different desserts.  We will be back.  Like I said service was slow and we did not get home until after 11pm.   Very late for this old lady!  Of course I had to Kit back to sleep once we got home.  And I had to start reading the book Kiki had bought me.  It was a wonderful day - and like my first 40 years- went by much too quickly.

Today I am 40

Yes indeed, today is my birthday.  I was born 40 years to a  young mother (aren't they all) in St Paul Minnesota.  I was born on a Monday, the day after Mother's Day.  That's the way I was, always going to make my mother earn it.  I was a cute lil thing. Round face. Lots of hair, just like my kids. If you've seen Calli or kit- you've seen me as a baby.

Hard to believe I am 40 - don't tell my mom,  she still says she's 39  :) - I don't feel 40, I don't think I look 40.  But what does 40 feel & look like? I guess how I feel & look.  Tired for sure, but that happened when I first had kids 16 years ago.  The few gray hairs I have are the same ones I had at 20. I definitely feel aches more.  And I'm starting to see wrinkles.  Things sure do sag more than they used to, but I'm sure 6 babies didn't help the cause on that.  I can play on the "old-timers" softball league, but that is for people 35 & up. I just don't feel old.  And when I was called "middle -aged" the other day I would've shot lasers if I could have.  Being 40 doesn't bother me.  Its just an age.  Being called middle-aged is a perception, a judgment even. That I don't like being called.  I certainly plan on living longer than 80.  I've got too much aggravation to provide. 

Time is so weird.  The first 20 years of my life went by so slowly.  Playground, daycare, school, homework, friends,  sports, work - Routine, someone else calling the shots, dependence.  Birth, School, Work, Death (anyone else know that song?)  Now I have a life that is quite void of a routine, even if I wanted it to be, many people completely dependent on me. Within certain parameters I call the shots, although I am certainly a slave to my kids sports and other activities. And this last 20 years have flown by.  I guess its true that time flies when you are having fun.  And I am.  I am having an absolute blast.  Not that everyday is a great day, but big picture, I could not have asked for anything more. 

Funny thing is, if someone can up to me 20 years ago and said hey - time to make some choices.  One of your choices is a wonderful husband that is utterly devoted to you and 1st priority in his life is to make you happy.  Along with that comes 6 kids, that you will homeschool.  6 kids that will love you, question you, push you to insanity, make you laugh uncontrollably, and cause you more than once to look for the car keys so you can journey far away for a very long time, but you never will. A small farm where you will be feeding pigs, chasing goats, and milking those same goats, tending to steers, herding sheep, and keeping some chickens & ducks.  In a very rural area 1 hour away from a "real" city. (remember born & raised in a major metropolitan area, small town is a major adjustment for me). You will not have a "career".  Nice clothes are a complete waste of money until your youngest child is 10. You will not get paid with dollars, only hugs, kisses and at times complete irritation & disdain by your teenagers.  You will be completely undervalued by the world, and at times by your own family.  You will be actively working from sunrise to sundown, and even then you will still be on-call.  There is no time off, there is no vacation, only a change of scenery.  You liked being a short order cook? Great because from now on nearly every meal will be provided by you. And with 8 people in the family you will have fun putting something on the table that is nutritional and tasty to everyone.  And remember the adults in the family do not want to eat the same thing twice in the same week.  Traveling is definitely something you will do a lot of.  Not to other countries or states, but to soccer, 4-h, art, performances, this activity that activity. You'll be traveling all the time.  You will get plenty of me time - when you are waiting in the car for children to have completed their activity.  And this man you can't get enough of now - you won't get enough of him later either.  Between work and farm and kids - you'll still be scheduling dates.  But not being 20 years old anymore you will need to sleep, so guess what gets pushed to the side?  That's right, romance.  But think of how much fun you will have with an empty house in 20 more years. And since you like challenges, your husband, best friend, and partner, will travel a lot.  This will give you opportunity to appreciate how hard it was for your mother and other single parents to raise your children and appreciate your husband that much more.  You will use your college degree daily in raising & teaching your children.  Your vocabulary will be absolutely diminished as you spend most of your time interpreting and speaking to young people. As your children get older and their vocabulary expands you will look like a complete dunce to them as you search for a word that means really, really  big.  (You mean "expansive" mom?!)  You will have some great friends to share your burdens, joys & sorrows with, but with your moving frequently you will also lose touch with some wonderful people.


How about it?  Sound like a great way to spend the next 20 years of your life?  I'm not sure I would have said yes, sign me up. Sounds great.  Exactly what I have dreamed about.  I always wanted to be a slave!  Will I really get to pick up puke, and clean out poopy pants at the grocery store when I couldn't get a  four-year old to the bathroom quick enough?  Will I truly be able to run through cornfields chasing sheep a mile away?  Do you promise that my husband will be gone every January so I can shovel/plow the driveway by myself? How could I say no?

But then I would have missed the hugs and kisses and cuddles & "I love you - enough" and "Happy Birthdays", and "I don't want you I want Mommy", and "Mama you are the best" and "I am so lucky to have you as a mom" and "Thank you mom" and the smiles and the laughs, the quiet times and the loud times and all the indescribable times that makes my life worth living.  No better than that. Makes my life fantastic.  And while I would trade with someone for a day, I would never give up my life and the people I share it with.

I am thrilled to be 40 years old.  It has been years well spent.  So when you look at this 40 year old body and you see the extra weight, that is weight I put on creating 6 wonderful people.  When you see the wrinkles that are starting, those are wrinkles from laughing and crying and spending many days playing & working in the sun.  The gray hairs - well I had those at 20, so those just are.

Thank you to my mom for having me, I wouldn't change a thing. I like who I am, and my childhood had much to do with it.  Thank you to my friends for being their for me in person & virtually.  I am very lucky to have people who care about me and share experiences with me and like me anyway.  Thank you to my children who have brought me untold joy that far outweighs the trials & tribulations.  Thank you to my extended family for still claiming me as yours.  Thank you to my husband for sharing your life with me, there is no one else I would rather share this adventure with.  Thanks to everyone who has come into my life (or left it) to make my life so spectacular.  I am grateful to you all.  I look forward to another wonderful 40 years and seeing what life has in store for me, I just hope they go a little slower.

Spring is crazy!

Spring is crazy! Our schedule anyway.  The weather too as far as that goes.  Looking at my calendar I can see we have days where we are double booked.  Not sure how that is going to work.  Actually I am - we aren't going to be able to do some things.  My mom is coming today and will stay at least through Tin's 5th Birthday next week.  Same day as the Shakespeare performance.  Tomorrow is particularly bad - not looking like a relaxing birthday for me, but its also a day I get to see friends, and that is always a plus.  Hopefully with my mom here she will pick up some of the driving duties and I can get more done simply because I'm not being interrupted so much.

The garden is coming along.  Always much to do, weeding, planting, new beds.  I'm very happy with the seedlings this year.  Tomatoes are looking great.  A few more weeks before they are going out.  Everyone helped clean up beds so they will be ready for the tomatoes, peppers, squash and the 3rd planting of carrots & greens. I am very thankful that we did not experience the freezing that other parts of Wisconsin got this past week.

Our hayfield is just about ready to be cut.  The early warm weather and the recent rain has most of the alfalfa at just above my knee.  With this next week of rain it should be ready to cut next week.  The early forecast even looks like the skies will cooperate with us too.  Our schedule not so much.

Grandma Jean is recovering well.  We are very grateful for that.  In no time at all she'll be back in her garden.

Yesterday we had a fabulous day outside observing Cinco de Mayo (do you know what its about?) in an amazing amount of wind.  Afterwards it was swim team sign-up, Kiki & Colin's soccer practice, and Tin Tin's "soccer".  All at roughly the same time, in 4 different locations.  We did it though!

Tin is doing "Passing Penguins" at the Y.  With much begging & pleading and very cute faces and much flattery, both Spencer & Tin convinced me to be a coach for their respective teams.  It really is more like babysitting than coaching, but it means I have to be there and I need to be attentive.  I am one of 6 parent "coaches" and there is a head coach.  There are 60+ 4 & 5 year olds in all split up into 2 teams, red & black.  Tin is red.  Half the time they spend running around learning how to move the ball with their feet.  The other 30 minutes kids were split up into small groups of 3 red players & 3 black players and sent with a "coach".  At this point they learned how to not use their hands while playing soccer.  As in no pulling, punching, hitting, grabbing, or tackling of the other players.

The kids were great.  The problem was their t-shirts.  As I said they have red or black t-shirts.  As they progress games will become more like real soccer and teams will be made from whoever shows up, red vs black.  In the past we had set teams with a dozen different colors, 1 color for each team.  But a few problems arose from that.  First you never know whos going to show up. 6 yellow team players show up, but only 2 of the green team.  Secondly there is 1 white player that has been kicking the ball around since he was 6 months and one blue player that is just as good, so unless they are playing against each other its just the one kid dominating everyone.  So I am totally onboard with splitting the group in half and essentially having pick up games every week.  It decreases some of the competitiveness too as their is no "team". And seeing as these are 4 & 5 year old kids, it just isn't necessary. 

So what is my problem with the t-shirts?  The name.  Due to safety the kids no longer have their first name on the backs of their t-shirts.  They have their last name, not their first as in years past. Its a safety issue so our kids aren't running around in public with their first names on their back.  Do you know how many 4 & 5 year olds even know their last name?  Of those how many would respond to it? Tin thinks his last name is Paula. So as I'm supervising these 6 children that are pulling, punching, hitting, grabbing, and tackling each other to get the ball I have to REMEMBER the name they just told me. Fortunately Tin was in my group so that brought it down to 5 names, and 1 was a girl, ok I can remember that.  4 boys, 2 blond & 2 brown hair.  All short crew cut styles.   2 had the same name. So only 3 names to remember.  I did ok, but it was really much more stressful than it should've been.  And the kicker is I  will not be working with these same kids next week. Over the course of  6 weeks I will be working with 60 different kids for 1 hour a week.  I will not know their names.  I think that isn't fair to the kid.

I will not debate the safety issue of a child wearing a t-shirt with his or her name on it in public.   There are different viewpoints on that and its a parent's prerogative.    But I don't think the answer was to take the name off the shirt.  Those shirts served a purpose.  Its a uniform. Red or black so the kids know who their teammate is, a name so the coach isn't saying "hey you".  If a parent doesn't want the child having his/her name displayed in public, don't wear the shirt off the soccer field.  Its that simple.   Kids don't wear their other jerseys off the field/court/pool.  Don't wear these off the field. Throw them away, burn them, make them into a quilt  http://www.favecraftsblog.com/soccer-jersey-quilt/ whatever you feel comfortable with.  I think this is another example of paranoia going too far.  I understand vigilance and safety.  And I know in the big scheme of things this is not a big deal, but I do believe this will do more harm than good.  Parents will still complain about a "bad" move even if they don't know a kids name, but you aren't going to hear as many "good shot Adam" from someone other than a parent, because no one will know the kids name. And a predator will still approach a kid on the park - "Hi, your mom "Mrs Olson" wants you to help me look for my dog" or whatever, I'm not a predator so I don't know how they operate. Taking the name off the t-shirt isn't going to protect our kids its just going to aggravate people who are trying to help our kids. But apparently I'm easily aggravated lately. :)

So those who know Tin, yes he did his fair share of pulling, punching, hitting, grabbing, and tackling, but he certainly wasn't the worse.  His biggest issue was dropping on the ball when other kids tried to take it.  What he wasn't figuring out were the other kids would still try to kick the ball and their feet would have to get through his body & face to get there. Overall he did very well and he had much fun!

Ready or not - here we come!

As is my refrain as of late - I am so busy.  The library is pretty much done.  Downstairs bathroom is done.  Upstairs bathroom has a new and working toilet but the carpet is only half up and we'll need more tiles.  We are moving our room upstairs and Colin into our old room.  And of course the normal cleaning of the house.  For whatever reason my kids have missed the whole concept of try not to make messes and clean up the ones you make.  Outside we have animals, a garden and seedlings that need frequent tending, soccer for 5 of our 6 kids (we missed the sign up for pre-walkers for Kit) that includes frequent travel to Madison an hour away, and sometimes further. Archery has started for Calli, every Tuesday night.  We continue with 4-h, Art classes, and gym class. But the kids are trying to help.  Spencer has really picked up some slack with his attempts to hang clothes on the line.  The only problem with that is if the line is low enough for him to hang clothes on, then its low enough for clothes to hit the ground. 

We have all of our baling equipment.  Its pretty exciting.... and very intimidating.  For the past 2 years we have learned about the theory of haying.  We know when to cut, the pattern to use. Get alfalfa when just above knee high or when the very first blooms appear.  Mow when you have 3 days of predicted no rain. Mow in the afternoon after the dew has evaporated.  A tedder helps if there is some rain (which we do not have yet, and can live without). Bale in the afternoon, again with the dew.  And haying is hot, sweaty, itchy, dirty, nasty, work. It requires you wear long sleeves, unless you want your arms all scratched up.   But filling a hay mow with hay is SO VERY SATISFYING.  And not having to buy junk hay is also very satisfying.  The animals agree.

While we've been doing the grunt work the last 2 years, we haven't run the machinery.  And that isn't something you can do by steps.  You either have the machinery or you don't.  So we've jumped in with both feet on this one.  I'm glad we've seen it done, and worked closely with our hayers, but now its on us. I think we are ready for it.  We have manuals or we are ordering them for all of the equipment.  We have a very healthy respect for these machines.  Kids have been lectured again & again that these are tools that can hurt if played with, but beneficial when used correctly, just like a car, or a blender, or a curling iron.  We have researched and read, and read again about the ins and outs of haying.  But now its time to do it.  Ready or not here we come!